When I finished my book about Unhurried I realised I left something out. When starting the process, I often talk about not asking questions.
I left it out partly because I couldn’t quite decide exactly what I wanted to say. I noticed that it seemed to disrupt the rhythm of the group if someone took their turn and fired back a question to the previous speaker. For example, “What did you mean by x?” or (worse) “Have you tried y?”
It also didn’t seem to work if someone used their turn to pose question to everyone. Like, “Where is everyone located?” or “What should we talk about next?”
I think the spirit is more about sharing your own experience, and taking turns when you wish, not at the prompting of others. I’m not one for rigid rules, so I never felt quite happy about saying, don’t ask questions.
I think the underlying principle is to recognise that curiosity is a richer seam of conversation than just questioning others. It’s an atmosphere in which we lead more my example. So rather than asking questions to put others on the spot, it’s more in that spirit to say that I’m curious about something – a subtle difference that shares where I am without pressing anyone else.
So my current shorthand for this idea is say curiosity is better than quizzing.