Passing the anxiety parcel

Some reflections on the chapter of my book called Hello, Darkness
Johnnie Moore

Johnnie Moore

I’m Johnnie Moore, and I help people work better together

Finding more creative responses to "negative" emotions

Transcript of this video:

In my book Unhurried, there is a chapter called Hello Darkness, which is about having a more creative relationship with what are sometimes labeled as negative emotions like fear or anger or boredom.

I think so often with those feelings, because they’re not very comfortable, we try to shut them down or distract from them by going shopping or by obsessing about something else. Or we mightlet them overwhelm us or we might try and pass ’em on to somebody else.

And in organisations there’s a phenomenon I sometimes call anxiety pass the parcel, which is an example of this. And it tends to work like this: The higher you are up in the hierarchy, the more likely it is that you are going to be indulged by those below you, in trying to pass on to them your anxiety.

You think you are giving clear and direct leadership, but you’re also in a way, on another level, saying to the people below you here, you, you have my anxiety.

And on the surface, they will perhaps not appear to resist that. but then they themselves will try and deal with that anxiety by either ignoring it or perhaps dumping it on someone else, often even further down in the hierarchy.

I think more interesting things happen in our groups, in our teams, in our relationships, and in indeed in ourselves when we have a less binary or manic response to feelings like anger or anxiety.

And where instead of seeing them as individual things that we need to get rid of, as things that we might share with our colleagues and work on creatively together.

Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash

Share Post

More Posts

Leading from the clown

I shot this in a single eight-minute take, which is in the spirit of an experience of Ralf Wetzel’s workshop, Leading from the Clown. Clown training is probably the deepest and most challenging work I’ve done. Enjoy.

Noticing

The power of small gestures and noticing

Small p presence

Getting away from grandiosity or solemnity. small p presence is about being open to the life around us

Small i improv

Facilitation is often about small, subtle acts of noticing and experimenting

More Updates

Emotional debt

Releasing the hidden costs of pent up frustrations

Aliveness

Finding the aliveness below the surface of stuck

Johnnie Moore

Doing vs analysing

Thanks to Piers Young (and the cast of bloggers who make up the chain:Jim McGee, Ole Eichhorn, Ottmar Liebert and Kevin Kelly) for this fascinating anecdote: The ceramics teacher announced

Johnnie Moore

Rules and control

Quite a few people have been linking to Michael Pollan’s Food Rules. I thought this idea from Laura Usher had relevance beyond food: Dont’ create arbitrary rules for eating if

Johnnie Moore

Horcruxes

In the Harry Potter series Voldemort attempts to attain immortality by creating horcruxes. He splits off a fragment of his soul and stores it in an object or person. The

Johnnie Moore

Disrupting disruption?

I’m trying out ineen which is an alternative voice-over-internet package to Skype. It has a few advantages: it incorporates video (nice but not that important to me), call recording (now