Thanks (again) to the eCustomeServiceWorld Newsletter for this:

Some more metaphors and analogies in student essays submitted to English teachers for grading. I think a few of these are actually quite clever, especially the last three…

1. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

2. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

3. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

4. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

7. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

8. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work