the notion that any activity must have a result that is valuable to the observer regardless of the value it has to the actor
This reminds me of Open Space when some people choose not to join an announced conversation, but choose to take a break, have a coffee or just chat casually with a passerby. Some folks look at these people and assume they’re somehow boycotting or resisting the process. (Actually, the guidelines for Open Space specifically endorse their choice). We don’t know what they’re doing but we assume it’s not valuable. What we miss in this little fantasy is that we’re not taking care of our own preference for engagement and instead are thinking of trying to control someone else’s.