October 21, 2004

Kryptonite

Johnnie Moore

I’m Johnnie Moore, and I help people work better together

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Kryptonite

I enjoyed Hugh’s take on the Kryptonite saga.

DAY ONE:
KRYPTONITE: Our bike locks are the best.
THE MARKET: Yes your bike locks are the best.
DAY TWO:
KRYPTONITE: Our bike locks are the best.
THE MARKET: Yes, your bike locks are still the best.
DAY THREE:
KRYPTONITE: Our bike locks are the best.
THE MARKET: Ummm… yeah I’m sure they are, but what’s all this about some recent video on the net that’s supposed to show how you can crack your locks in 10 seconds using a simple Bic ballpoint pen?
DAY FOUR:
KRYPTONITE: Our bike locks are the best.
THE MARKET: Hey, I just saw that video on a friend’s website. And I’m kinda ticked off because I just paid $60 for one of your new locks 3 weeks ago, and I’m wondering if a Bic pen can crack my lock or not… does the pen crack all Kryptonite locks or just one or two models?
DAY FIVE:
KRYPTONITE: Our bike locks are the best.
THE MARKET: Hey, I just visited your website and saw no mention of the Bic pens. What the hell are you doing about it? Are you going to fix the locks? Are you going to give me a refund?
DAY SIX:
KRYPTONITE: Our bike locks are the best.
THE MARKET: No, they’re not. You guys are assholes.

Here are some other corporate mantras that might be vulnerable the same way…

Coke is refreshment and connection (according to the Coke COO that is)

Kellogg’s is synonymous with health and vitality (according to Interbrand)

Any other suggestions for questionable articles of faith?

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Kryptonite

Johnnie Moore

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