Johnnie Moore

Phone Spam

Johnnie Moore

Johnnie Moore

I’m Johnnie Moore, and I help people work better together

Chris Lawer takes aim at Peppers and Rogers. The champions of one-to-one marketing are hitching their cart to “voice marketing”.

That’s Phone Spam to you and me. Idiotic answerphone messages trying to sell me things. I’m increasingly weary of answering the phone to this sort of crap whether a message or some poor sod slaving in a callcentre sweatshop in the third world. It used to be exciting when the caller ID displayed an international call… now it just puts me on my guard for the tell-tell 3 second pause while some computer somewhere in India or wherever tries to find a human being (not yet burying his head in despair) to try and flog me a new energy supplier.

And just look at the language they use to describe this tat.

Voice marketing helps retailers strengthen brand and communicate with customers more effectively by combining pre-recorded telephone messages with professional voice talent. Designed to connect with existing customers, voice marketing allows retailers to accelerate their relationships with individual customers and capture higher value

I’m sick of this sort of consultancy gobbledigook… How does this “strengthen” a brand? What the hell is an “accelerated relationship”? Sounds like the pursuit of a one-night-stand to me. “Capture higher value”? Yuk. I feel for the workers caught up in this miserable practice. It’s exactly the sort of marketing I want nothing to do with.

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